How To Convince Your Partner To Sext
We are constantly being told about new ways to enjoy sex. There’s always better sex we can be having and new avenues to explore. Sexting is one of those newer things on the table for your sex life. But it only works when you are having it with someone else. Not everyone has come around to the idea of phone sex. It’s not because they think it’s a bad idea or not hot. The adverse reaction to sexting lies primarily in the fear to have it, to begin with. People are afraid of… themselves! They are worried that they won’t be good at it, won’t know what to say, or will make a fool of themselves while trying to sext. But sexting isn’t that scary. It’s a few hot words exchanged through text. You aren’t the one who needs convincing though.
How does one convince a partner to start sexting them? Pushing anyone past their sexual boundaries isn’t ok. But it’s rarely a boundary and has more to do with insecurity. Trying new things in the bedroom (even if you are alone in that bedroom and far away from your partner) is going to expand your sexual horizons. Here are ways to open your partner’s mind to the idea of sexting instead of just letting it slip away.
Bring it up when you are together
Wait to bring it up to them when you are in the room with them. Even if you want to sext right now, this minute… you should wait. Remember that sexting is something that they might fear. Nobody wants to face their fears alone or feel pressured to face them in a quick and hasty moment. So give them the chance to talk it out to you in a setting that feels comfortable to them. Let them be with you in the moment of deciding whether it’ll be good for your relationship.
Keep the convo open
Be open-minded when discussing it. Do not bully them or insult them when they try to explain why they don’t think sexting is something they want to do. The more comforting and open-minded you are, the better off you will be and the less anxious your partner will feel. Let them ask you questions, express their fears, and tell you about their boundaries when it comes to sexting. Allowing them to get all of this off of their chest will make them feel better about trying something new with you.
Ask about their fantasies
Show them how much fun sexting can be by engaging them with questions about their sexual fantasies. Maybe there are things that you two aren’t ready to try yet in-person. Sexting is the perfect way to figure out if those scenarios would be hot or not. Let them drive the first sexting conversation by formulating it around their idea of sexy. Next time, you can choose the sexting fantasy you want to explore.
Address the learning curve
It’s not going to be perfect the first time. You might say something totally off-the-wall or silly. There’s a learning curve to great sexting and both you and your partner need to make yourselves aware of that. By showing that you understand that it might be bumpy at first, you will ease the mind of your partner. Let them know that there is no judgment and that anything worth doing takes some practice.
Embrace the comedy of it
Yes. It might be funny. You might even laugh during the sexting. It feels strange to try something new sexually with someone. Nobody wants to associate sex with being comedic. But life is funny that way! That’s just the truth of the matter. Laughing about sexting with your partner will bring you two closer and make them feel more comfortable with the subject of sexting itself.
Throw a softball
No. Not a literal softball. Ask questions that are softer when bringing up the topic of sexting. Don’t scare your partner away by making it super intense before you even begin. By asking your partner lighthearted questions about sexting you allow them to slowly embrace the idea. The point is to get your partner comfortable thinking about sexting so that they will be more likely to consider actually doing it with you.
Buy toys
Give you and your partner some presents! Opening a new sex toy is like opening a present on Christmas morning. It’s exciting and you can’t help but imagine all the fun times you are going to have with your new toy. Toys are helpful when you are sexting because with busy sexting fingers, it’s nice to know that there is something else there to aid you in reaching an orgasm.
Ease into it
If your partner is down to sext, then take it slow. Initiate sexting by sending a naughty line instead of a full-blown nude. Savor the build-up because it’s going to make the finishing even more rewarding!
Sexting isn’t going to be for everyone. Couples experience sex differently and sometimes a new sexual activity doesn’t work for the relationship. You will never know until you try it out. Remember to keep a very open mind when breaching the topic of sexting with your partner so that they have a chance to really think about whether or not it’s something they want to try with you. The more comfortable they feel, the better it will be for the both of you.