Dos and Don’ts for Safe and Fun Sexting

Let’s be honest: sexting can be a total game-changer. It can turn up the heat when you’re apart, keep things spicy in your relationship, and bring out a level of flirtation you probably never thought was possible through text. But, like anything fun, there are rules to make sure you don’t accidentally kill the vibe—or worse, cross a boundary.

If you’re new to the sexting scene or just want to make sure your game is as smooth as it can be, here’s a crash course on sexting etiquette—aka how to keep it hot, fun, and respectful.

The Dos & Don’ts

DO: Test the Waters First
Okay, here’s the thing: sexting isn’t something you just throw out there without testing the waters first. If the last thing your partner sent you was a meme about their dog, and you suddenly drop a “thinking about taking off your clothes,” you might end up with… crickets. Not sexy. Start small. Flirt a little, see if they’re in the mood. Maybe a “Remember that time we…” or “I can’t stop thinking about what you did last night…” gets things going without coming on too strong.

DON’T: Skip the Foreplay
Jumping straight into X-rated territory without any buildup? Major no-no. Sexting is like a dance—you’ve got to ease into it. Start with teasing, suggestive texts, and slowly turn up the heat. Think of it like foreplay: the anticipation makes it so much better. Ask questions, get playful, drop a “wish you were here” to start planting the idea, and let the tension build naturally.

DO: Make It Fun
Sexting doesn’t have to be serious. In fact, the more fun you make it, the better. Throw in a cheeky joke, maybe even a playful insult like, “Too bad you’re not here to mess up my sheets,” or use emojis that make things lighter and flirtier. A well-placed winky face or devil emoji can work wonders, trust me. The goal is to keep things playful while turning up the heat. It’s not a dissertation, it’s flirting—have some fun with it!

DON’T: Send Unsolicited Nudes
This should go without saying, but it’s still important. Do. Not. Send. Unsolicited. Nudes. Just because you’re feeling the heat doesn’t mean the other person is ready for a surprise full-body shot. Consent is key, even in sexting. A simple “wanna see something?” can work wonders to make sure both of you are on the same page. Nothing ruins the mood faster than an unexpected “pic” when they’re, like, in a work meeting.

DO: Use Your Words
Sure, photos are fun, but words? Words can be so much sexier. Tell them exactly what you’re thinking about in detail—describe what you’re wearing, what you want to do, or how you’re feeling. The more vivid the imagery, the better. And the best part? There’s no pressure to get the perfect angle like there is with a selfie. Sometimes, painting a mental picture is way more effective than any photo could ever be.

DON’T: Forget Consent is Sexy
Before things get too steamy, remember: consent is sexy. You both need to be into this. Don’t assume because you’re turned on, they are too. Checking in can be as simple as, “This turning you on as much as me?” or “Wanna keep going?” It keeps things consensual, and honestly, it makes the whole experience hotter. Nothing like knowing they’re just as into it as you are.

DO: Get Personal
Generic sexts can be fine, but if you really want to blow their mind? Get personal. Reference a specific time, something the two of you have done together, or bring up a shared fantasy. Tailoring your sexts to the person you’re talking to makes it so much better than just saying, “You’re so hot.” They’ll love knowing that what you’re texting them could only be meant for them.

DON’T: Be Afraid to Be Awkward
Sexting can feel awkward sometimes, especially if it’s new territory for you. But you know what? That’s okay! If you send something a little cringy or your partner doesn’t respond right away, laugh it off. Sexting doesn’t have to be flawless to be fun. The key is to keep it light, keep it playful, and don’t stress too much about saying exactly the right thing. The awkward moments can actually bring you closer—and sometimes lead to even hotter texts.

DO: Set Some Ground Rules
If you’re getting into the habit of sexting with someone regularly, it’s smart to set some ground rules. Talk about what you’re comfortable with and what’s off-limits. Maybe you’re okay with suggestive photos but not full-on nudes, or maybe you’d rather keep certain fantasies private. Whatever your boundaries are, make sure you’re both on the same page. It’ll make the whole experience more comfortable—and way more fun.

DON’T: Overthink It
Sexting should be fun! Don’t get too caught up in trying to say the perfect thing or craft the ideal text. Just go with the flow. Sometimes the best sexts happen when you’re relaxed, joking around, and letting things escalate naturally. If something sounds a little off or awkward, just roll with it. No need to hit “delete” and start over—being real is way sexier than overthinking every word.

Wrapping Up: Keep It Fun, Keep It Sexy

At the end of the day, sexting is about connection and fun. It should bring you closer to your partner, make you feel excited, and spark some serious chemistry. Remember to keep it light, respect each other’s boundaries, and don’t take yourself too seriously. The most important thing? Enjoy it! Because when sexting’s done right, it’s not just sexy—it’s a total game-changer.

Now, go ahead and send that flirty text. You got this.